Fantasy While Procrastinating on My Homework

I stand in front College Guy's seated form. I'm close, vulnerable, but unrepentant. It's going to take a good deal this time. I don't realize that he already knows this fact.
He says little. In a few firm sentences which I barely hear or understand, he lets me know why I am standing before him, what necessitated his action.
He asks me if I have anything to say.
I have nothing. I have removed myself from the situation. I'm anything but resigned. I'm uncaring.
"Step back three steps."  This is not the usual beginning. "Turn around." I obey. It's not yet time to resist. "Take off your jeans and your panties." I do so. And I stand there. I could stand there for years, and it wouldn't faze me.
Nothing matters.
In a dreamy part of my mind, I hear him moving behind my back, then silence.
"Stay still, Bonnie-jo. Do not move until I tell you too."
I wait for a long time. Or maybe it's a short time. I do not care.
Then he is behind me. He slaps one cheek then the other, just hard enough to stir my desire for this, just hard enough to make me wish that I will be overthrown. His hand rests between my cheeks, moves a bit lower, and causes me to squirm slightly as he says, "I'm putting the blindfold on you now." I want to turn and see his face, but I hold still as he ties the silk cloth around my composed face.
His hands are on my shoulders, turning me around to face him, and he smooths back a strand of hair momentarily. Then he places his fingers on my mouth, and they linger there.
"This is going to be the most important part of you for the next hour or two, Bonnie-jo. Yeah, it may not feel like the most important part...but this is what is going to get you into the most trouble during this spanking if you don't play your cards right. And this is what could potentially make a memorable but shorter spanking if you do play your cards right. Do you understand?"
I don't respond.
He always reacts the same.
With complete silence. There is no wheedling or threatening, no anger, not even a "I thought as much". Just action.
I'm unceremoniously led to the bed. He places my hand on it. "Lay down. I want you in a spread eagle position. Now."
We've never done this before.
He ties each wrist to the headboard posts, and each ankle to the foot board posts.
I attempt to wriggle. I can hardly move a muscle.
And the fear comes creeping into my brain, like tiny ants under a door frame. No, please, no.
"I know you're a little scared right now, so I'm going to help you out." His hand is now resting on my bottom. He slaps it hard.
"I wouldn't normally do this  because I've spanked you for homework issues before. So technically, you shouldn't be getting a warm up, especially because your mouth seems to have a problem answering me in a proper way. But I'm going to give you one anyway."
I moan inside as the slaps come down hard. They hurt in the best way possible. And I don't want them to.  Sometimes, kindness hurts more than brutality, and the thought that he cares about my fear, that he cares enough to administer the warm-up, this thought I cannot stand.
A small moan catches in my throat, and I quickly draw a breath and let it out. His hand stops.
"Are you enjoying this, my dear?"
Silence.
"I need an answer on that, I'm afraid, because if you are, then I'm not doing my job right."
Silence.
"Uh, huh. Consider that all the warm up you're getting."
I find my voice and speak for the first time since this started. "You suck."
Silence. Then, his words hard, but slow and measured. "You are entitled to your opinion, but now is not the time to say that. Your mouth will open only when I'm asking you a question. Do you understand?"
Silence.
He sighs, the first sign of frustration since we started. "You know, you are not doing yourself any favors today, Young Lady."


But I don't care what is about to happen. Please, please, please, spank me until I'm sobbing, begging you to stop. Spank me until I can't resist you any longer. Spank me until I'm promising you I'll be better, and not because you want me to be better, but because I want me to be better.


Spank me until I feel powerless, weak, open, so that I can feel like supergirl once again. 


Don't listen to my rude comments, my jibes, my protests, my explanations. Expect better of me. Spank me. Please, please spank me.