Spanking Party

I went to my very first spanking party the other day. After muddling my way through a crowded downtown area and calling the spanking host for directions because I didn't write all of the details he sent me down (no, he didn't spank me for it), I arrived at a two story warehouse-like building with warm lighting and wooden floors.

I didn't really know why I was there. But from the moment I heard the tell-tale "Thwack, crack, smack" sounds rising from the bottom floor and mixing with the warm rumble of chatter, I knew I was in the right place. At least, it sounded like the right place.

You never realize how loud a spanking is until you aren't the one receiving it. It was a small group, and although the area was large, it was all one open room. We were often arrested in the midst of conversation by the sounds proceding from the spanking side of the room. One of the tops, after a particularly punishing blow dealt by the paddle in his hand, remarked to the onlookers, "That one hurt my ears too." Guess you're a good spanker if you need to wear ear plugs.

I was in the mood for a good spanking. My Magician had told me, "Don't expect much, and you won't be dissapointed much. Just see how it goes." Well, that was the nice thing he said. There was also, "What are you going to wear? " "What? Your short-shorts? Those are my short shorts....You say the other short shorts?? Those are mine too!"

Me going to this party was a strain on both of them--College Guy and My Magician. Actually, the reason I was going to the party was because College Guy had told me about it. That's because he literally knows everything....(You think I'm being sarcastic...well...hehe... don't tell anyone.)

About 3 hours before the party, after getting off IM chat with My Magician, I started messaging College Guy.

"I have to get ready for the party. It's in only 3 hours. And I've gotten no homework done. Ahhh!! I'm nervous!"

"You don't need 3 hours to get ready, silly girl. Do some homework."


"You have time. Besides, I"m not asking, I'm telling."


"Stop saying that. I'm serious."  (Do I ever believe him? Nooooooo.)

"Why not? It's fun."

"Do a bit of homework before you get ready. You have time."


"Do some homeowork or I'll cane you."


 Don't try to tell a nervous brat to do homework. Not unless you enjoy being frustrated.

After about an hour of light hearted chatting, sharing, and giggling at the people getting spanked--I knew I was in the right group when an especially loud CRACK! was not met with concern but with giggles and smiles from the chatting participants--I decided to play. I didn't really want to. It's one thing to play with someone you know. And it's one thing to play in a group with someone you know. But to bare most of your bottom (I kept my panties on) to a group of strangers and let another complete stranger wack it...it was beginning to sound crazy to me. However, I was even more scared of me hating myself for being scared later, when the party was over and I had time to think about it. And even more importantly, I wanted a spanking--any spanking.

All in all, it was a good spanking. As far as the physics of spanking go, the dude did a fine job. There was a ton of variety in methods used. Short, fast, hard, gentle, straight on, sweeping up, both hands, one hand, and etc.  There was even one time when he would switch between his hand and the small paddle he was using right in the middle of  a bunch of strokes. It kept me wondering what would happen next. But I was confused. Confused during and more confused afterwards. Sure, I had that silly "I'm getting spanked" smile on my face the whole time. But afterwards, I curled up next to a newly-made-bottom-friend and struggled to keep the smile on my face.

I almost wish I hadn't played. I feel cheap because of how much I didn't get to experience. I missed the power play. Sure, I'm a spanko. But spanking is at most 75% of the picture. It might only be 50%. I miss My Magician. I miss College Guy. I miss being able to relax in their hands. I miss testing them. I miss the game that isn't really a game. I miss the reality.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm what people call a "submissive". I hate that word. It doesn't even look nice. It doesn't look respectable. It looks like someone who is under something, shorter than something, groveling, bowing, begging, or silent. It makes me think of social problems, inequality, and ignorance. Am I a "submissive"?

"We are a bottom-driven group", the group host told all of us at the spanking party. "This means when the bottom says, 'Stop', you stop. This means if the bottom is good after one swat, you stop." I didn't like hearing this. I understood, but it took half of the fun away. I want to be pushed. I want to be stretched. I want to brat, and I want to be punished.

However, I realized, after a day or so of sulking because I didn't get my power-play-high, that there is no way to get a power-play high with a stranger. And if two strangers tried to attempt such a thing with one another, they'd be playing with fire. The only way to let complete strangers play like this is for the bottom to have too much control . A necessary evil, I'll admit. I'd so much rather play with the good kind of fire, like the kind I played with over the summer.

And in a way, I'm glad I had the reaction I did. It helped me realize how much I love what College Guy and I have and what My Magician and I have. Both people could never ever be easily replaced. They are a  precious part of my life, and sometimes, I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world.


  1. I agree with you about the submissive term. It is degrading, in my mind. Maybe thats the attraction for some? For myself, and Im thinking you too, the pre-spanking, and post-spanking is alot of what interests me. Spanking itself is great, but the game of it all is good too.

  2. Hmm...yes..I do like the during the spanking part too. In this wierd kind of love/hate way. What I fantasize about is mostly during (and sometimes pre-spanking--like what I could do to make him spank me (It's not the healthiest of ways to think about a d/s relationship.)
    Is the term submissive degrading? If so, that's not at all the reason I would be attracted to it. The feelings of wanting someone to be in charge came first. I didn't even know what it all meant. Didn't know what "submissive" was. Still am not sure.
    I like the word "brat" much better. :p

  3. I completely understand the "submissive" question. It took a long time for me to admit that I am a submissive to my spanko friends. Not a bottom. A submissive. (And a brat!)

    There is a lot of misperception with that word. I am a submissive feminist. The two are not mutually exclusive. My power as a feminist allows me the freedom to be who I want, to explore all facets of myself: from the aggressive marketing powerhouse, to the demure lady kneeling at her Dom's feet, both aspects are part of me.

    Anyway, this has been weighing on my mind a lot lately (the spanko vs. submissive vs. feminist debate). And I just vomited it all over your blog. :)

    Having said that, it's awesome that you have an appreciation for the relationships you have, Bonnie-jo.

    Awesome blog, btw...in case I haven't told you!

    Hugs and happy weekending,


  4. If that was vomiting, then it's the best put vomiting I've probably ever seen. :)
    Thanks so much for your words, Pink. The subject is quite daunting, and no one can just automatically place themselves in a certain category. At least that's what I think.
    Submissive feminist. I like it.
    You know, if anyone ever told me they thought spanking was abusive and submissive women had psychological problems, your blog would be the first thing I'd point them to. Seriously.
    You have a good weekend too, Miss Lovely Pink.

  5. Bonnie-Jo, I just came across your blog and wanted to tell you I'm loving it!!!!

    Thanks for sharing this experience. I'm looking for a "spanking group/party" type thing in my area and I'm really glad I read this.