Better Not Pout

My spanko mind must be entertained, so at work the other day, I brightened up when I saw the customer I was ringing up place a small wooden decoration on the counter between us. It read, "Better Not Pout". And I couldn't help giggling.

She giggled back. My mind raced, and the question, "Could she be a spanko?" flitted around my brain.

"That's awesome." I commented.

She nodded.

"Pouting is essential." I grin.

"Yeah, the boyfriend likes to pout. I thought I should get it."

I struggled to hold my smile. Ah well...I suppose she could still be a spanko....

For me, pouting is usually a plea for the top to take charge, or to continue in the road they've taken, despite my pouting. It's a test perhaps, to see if they'll back down and let me decide. And it's also an encouragement. Keep on doing what you're doing, it says. I like it. I need it.

So, why the blazes do I have to use reverse psychology to communicate? Why can't I say, "Yes, Sir...so it is, Sir...I will do better, Sir....Thank you for telling me, Sir" ?

I'm lying face down on the hotel bed, and my fuzzy blue blindfold is on. College Guy has  soft rope that he's attempting to use to tie my wrists behind my back. It's taking awhile, and I can tell he feels unsure.

"Almost done," he apologizes.

"That's fine. Take your time." I offer. I know what's coming after he gets me tied--lots and lots of bath brushing.

He fumbles around and I feel one of my wrists free of the rope. I surreptitiously bring it underneath my chest, out of his reach.

A half second goes by and I immediately realize how stupid the move was. I'm in a vulnerable place, and we're about to start the worst part of my spanking.

"Put it back, now."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" I plead. I mutter, "Stupid, stupid..." under my breath as I wonder what I could have been thinking.

"If you think for one moment you're in control, Bonnie-jo, you're very very wrong, and I will smack that thought right out of you."

Perhaps I'm stuck in my testing ways. Bratting is such a  large part of the fun. But also, it's sort of about being overthrown. If I don't put up a fuss, then it's way too easy for him, right? I want him to win but at some kind of cost.

Yes, in the end, it' s my decision to follow him. But I don't want to make it easy. That's no fun.

Does this make me selfish? Perhaps.

But I like knowing what I want. "Know thyself" and all that good stuff.