The urge

Have any of you bottoms or subs ever felt this way? I'm not sure if it's a sadistic streak, merely childish, crazy, or something else. But it is  alive and well and it is there.
I don't really want to physically hit him. But I have the urge to be "bad". Because I want him to hit back. I think I'm addicted to it. At least, that's my excuse, and I shall stand by it.
I try it sometimes, when I'm feeling extra stressed or tired or sad.
It will go something like this:

"Bonnie-jo, I don't like your tone"--College Guy
"Well, random fact, I don't like your tone"--Me
A small laugh. "Fair enough."--College Guy
"What????"---Me

So I try something else minutes later:
"This is an idea that we need to think through together."--College Guy
"Nah, lets not think. Lets just see how it goes."--Me
"I'm serious, Bonnie-jo. This is important."--College Guy
"Soooo important...." ---Me
"So we are going to talk about it some more."--College Guy
"Whatever..."--Me

It's hard when you live so far apart. I get to brat a lot more, but other than an occasional yahoo video punishment (and I abhore those), he doesn't get to do much about it. And that's hard.

One day, about a month ago, we were chatting online, typing away.  And I was stressing over something.
"Is it warm in your room? Do you have your heater on?" He asked.
"Yes."
"Take of all your clothes. Do it now."
"Why?"
"Do it."
So I do. I've never typed to him naked. Of course, he can't see me. But the feel of the laptop on my bare skin, the radiation of its heat, the vulnerable and small way I feel---I love it.
"Do you know why you are naked right now?" He asks. "It is because, number 1, I like you that way and there needs to be no reason. Number 2, you needed to be put in your place."
I quake a bit at how arrongant that sounds, but I warm as the domminess of it surrounds me. "My place?" I ask.
"Yeah, I have some stuff I want to tell you. I've told you before. You still don't get it. Maybe you'll listen better this way."
And he talks.
But I still have the urge to push, to brat, to be 'bad". So I do. He asks questions. I say, "Yeah."
"I need a 'Yes, Sir' or 'Yes, College Guy' whenever you answer me, and that is all." He states.
"Yes, Sir."
At one point, he asks a question. I don't like the question. I don't like the topic. It's a sore issue, something we've been arguing about for quite some time. I wait a couple seconds to answer. "Yes or no, Bonnie-jo??" He prods.
"Yes." I answer. Then I type a face with the tongue pointing out. One of these dealios: :p
There is a pause. Then I see the words: "Get on yahoo chat."
"No, no no no!!!!" I type back. Yahoo chat is video. I am naked. I don't want that. How embarrassing.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I continue, "But I was joking. You said to me, ' Yes or no'. The joke was that I was picking one. You didn't say,  'Yes, Sir' or 'No, Sir', Bonnie-jo....because that would have sounded silly. But the joke was that was what I saw..."
He types back as I'm typing. "You pick this time to make silly jokes? When you know I'm serious. Get on yahoo."
"Nooooooooooooooo," I type back. "Please, pick something different. I hate yahoo. You know I do. And I'm all naked. And I'm tired looking."
We went back and forth and he gave in. In a way. He traded the "punishment" of yahoo chat for a 3-fold punishment that involved writing lines, a very hard spanking when I see him next, and something else that I'm not talking about. Not because it's sexual at all, just annoying. So....I suppose I got the better deal we shall see.
But seriously, all over me not calling him "Sir" and me typing a face with the tongue sticking out. Seriously folks?

My urge to brat had been kindly met with a hard hand. It was a good feeling. But you can't always meet it in the same way every time. Life has to go on. And it does.

Presently, I was supposed to get some homework done this morning. I did not. Instead, I wrote this post and did other things. He just got on chat and is attempting to talk. I'll let ya'll know how this goes. I still refuse yahoo chatting naked...ewww....