Eye to Eye with College Guy

This post is extra-special, everyone. College Guy read my post, just as I wanted him to. I didn't especially like the results of his reading it, but it lead to him wanting to tell you all some of his thoughts about what happened. So he emailed me this post. I do apologize profusely for how long it is....you see what I have to deal with on a daily basis though....? The lectures are punishment alone...groan...Anyway, enjoy this note from my College Guy:

Hello everyone, for a while now I’ve wanted to give a bit of my side of Bonnie-jo’s and my life together. Her latest post and the ramifications of it have given me a perfect opportunity to do so. So without a do the following is my recollection and thoughts on how everything went down and whatever thoughts on spanking, life etc. that may lead to.


A little bit of background information is necessary to bring everyone up to pace on what was going on this past Sunday. That Saturday night Bonnie-jo and I had had a discussion that wasn’t quite an argument but that was important enough to bring out some emotions from both of us. Happily, like they often do, this discussion ended well and I gave Bonnie-jo a simple order for the next morning, “Don’t allow this to keep you occupied all morning, make sure you get some homework started instead.” So the next day I wake up and get on my computer. To my delight Bonnie-jo was already on and we were able to talk immediately. I asked if she had gotten any homework done and she kindly pointed me to her last blog post. I needed to talk to my grandparents first (that’s important later) but after that I was not so shocked to see that Bonnie-jo had not done her homework, in fact she had in a way declared war on my order by broadcasting her willful disobedience to all of you and myself.

So I got on the internet to talk to Bonnie-jo again. I could never say I was not adequately warned about the mood she was in; in fact I tend to love the way Bonnie-jo brats, which I think in a relationship like ours is just as important as loving your partner's smile, or laugh etc; however I’ve made it clear several times that if she brats about serious orders or discipline, she can expect more discipline. She knew this too. We had been planning on talking on the phone before I headed back to campus, but Bonnie-jo recommended talking online, knowing what the conversation would entail, and because she had roommates in the near vicinity.

I agreed and immediately started trying to find out how far Bonnie-jo wanted to go with her disobedience. I talked about what she had used her morning for, and overall she had been productive, which I was happy to hear. From my point of view, Bonnie-jo had not broken the spirit of the law, which was originally to just not focus on things too much, but had very willfully broken the letter of the law, to do homework. Keeping this in mind I decided to take away her warm up from her discipline spanking. I know that may seem overly harsh to some and too light to others, but I judged it about right for Bonnie-jo and myself. For one thing we only get to meet so often, and if I spanked her for each individual act we would never have any time to talk, and it’s a lighter penalty than adding the cane or big paddle to her punishment. However, to my chagrin Bonnie-jo responded with, and I quote, “Fine :P” and more bratting. Obviously Bonnie-jo needed more, something immediate. I decided on lines, rather a lot of them as well (500), but Bonnie-jo had not had enough, she bratted continuously until she had added 200 more to her list (They’re due tomorrow). I should point out that I warned her at each step of the process, I’m a meanie but I’m not that big of a meanie. Still Bonnie-jo didn’t seem quite there, she wasn’t contrite. This wasn’t so obvious, and it’s something I’m only able to catch on to thanks  to my gift of knowing Bonnie-jo for as long as I have. So as a final punishment I added the condition that she was to stand in the corner the next day under my supervision. It’s my understanding that Bonnie-jo is going to write her account on that part so I’ll leave that to her.

The bratting continued a bit from there, eventually resulting in Bonnie-jo questioning what would happen if she didn’t do anything that I had asked. This is a tricky spot for me to be in, and one I don’t like to address if it can be avoided. The truth is of course, and as I told her, that we would have to break up, as I have no means of forcing her to do what I say, and nor would I want to. I want to add here, that Bonnie-jo always always always has the ability to not agree to my conditions and rules especially if she has a reason. However if she just decided that I'm not worth listening to any more, obviously our relationship as a top/bottom would be over. I do wish I could have been there to give her the spanking she richly deserved by this point, but from where I was, if she decided she didn’t want to listen anymore, realistically there was nothing I could do. This brings me to the irony of our interest in control. No matter how dominate a relationship might be, the basis of that relationship is built on the acceptance of the bottom/sub. If a sub says, “Don’t do that”, a good dom will respect her wishes. This isn’t to say a good dom won’t push, I think that’s part of the feeling out process for our partners and ourselves, but the bottom line is, what the sub says goes. I personally enjoy this dynamic, as to me it is what allows the beauty of our relationship, the trust, to shine. What separates spanking and BDSM from abuse is consent, and power without trust is meaningless, at least to me.

Of course Bonnie-jo was merely taking her bratting to its most extreme limits, and the answer I gave her was not the answer she was looking for. I’m sure she would have liked to hear how I was about to trek across country and put her bare bottom across my knee for a session with Gepetto (she wouldn’t have wanted to hear the Gepetto part), however I’ve found that sometimes the only way to beat a brat at their game, is to not play their game. Of course bratting is not just a game, it is a fascinating dynamic to me; it is in a way a game of tug of war, yet it is also a method of letting out stress and of probing and getting to know your partner. Still sometimes you have to step away from it and bring everything back to reality.

On a final note I’d like to add that Bonnie-jo herself was a great help to me during that same conversation. My grandmother had hurt her back before my conversation with her, and she is experiencing quite a bit of pain. Something Bonnie-jo mentioned made me think of my grandmother, and once I explained that situation Bonnie-jo quit her bratting immediately for me, and indeed was somewhat frustrated that I hadn’t thought to say so in the first place. The dynamics of spanking and its transition and place through so many phases of life is another interesting topic but one for another time. It is sufficient to say that I’m extraordinarily happy that I’ve met someone who I can be there for and who can be there for me.

Sincerely,

College Guy