Thoughts

Sometimes I hate spankings. I lie over College Guy's lap and squirm as he splatters my bottom with hard fast spanks from either a hair brush or a bath brush, and I think to myself, "What the Sam-hill am I doing???" (okay, minus the Sam-hill part and you may substitute other words at your discretion).  It hurts and it makes me angry. I can't catch my breath, I can't even properly focus myself in order to cry. I  wisely fight the urge to tell him he's spanking me wrong, that he needs to slow down, that if this awfulness lasts any longer someone (and not me) might get hurt....

But he never spanks me that way for long. And it's always a spanking for something I've done. Something mean I've said. An act of direct and blatant disobedience. It's always warranted. So I struggle and whimper and yelp, and he pins my legs with his and wallops away.

But then, after the walloping slows, or stops, this odd thing happens to me. Sometimes, I almost want to cry because of the feeling and how odd it is. The pain fades or changes, and then, I don't want him to stop. I will be red-faced, sore-bottomed, and teary eyed. He will stop. Rub my back, spread some lotion on, kiss my cheek, ask me if I'm okay. And all I want to do is ask for more. I know that if he starts again it will hurt again and I'll want it to stop. But I hate it when he stops. I always hate it.